The Rules

With a hat-tip to Esquire, who publishes random rules for men to live by (some funny, some stupid, all thought provoking) here are some random rules for parents.

No. 10 — When changing a diaper in the middle of the night, have a soft light on somewhere nearby. Otherwise your baby will end up with a diaper thong riding up her ass because you can’t see everything you’re doing.

No. 18 — When baby has a massive diaper blowout, the ones where the poop runs all the way up their back clear to the neck, don’t waste a half a box of wipes trying to clean it up. Turn on the shower, and hose ’em down. — submitted by Kara Spears

No. 71 — Give your baby something to hold during diaper changes: toy, book, phone, etc. If unoccupied, those hands will soon find their way into the poop you are trying so hard to clean up. — submitted by Jerry Tsai

No. 89 — If you decide to have a baby “late” or “later” in life, 2 a.m. sucks a lot more when you’re 38 than when you’re 23. — submitted by Scott Mayes

No. 136 — Cocktails, especially when children are around, should be treated like boobs. One is not enough and three is too many.

No. 137 — Don’t ever go out on the town with your wife and drink more than two drinks. Your precious little one will choose that night to not want to sleep. At all. — submitted by Cabe Flesher

No. 191 — When packing to travel and you think you’ve packed enough clothes/diapers, pack one more. You will need it. — submitted by Chris LaFosse

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